To be full of faith. To have a heart full of faith. What is faith?
Belief, trust, hope. Believing without proof? Trusting something to happen; knowing without information. Isn't that also called intuition? But intuition also involves feelings: "feeling" whether something is ok or not. How is intuition linked with faith?
But faith can also mean full-on confidence, absolute trust. "Complete trust or confidence in someone or something", says my dictionary. I've felt absolute trust only a couple of times. While I was traveling alone in Europe for a month without a plan, I had absolute trust in life and the world. I had absolute trust in humanity. I had absolute trust in myself.
I have never felt absolute, unquestioned trust in a fellow human being (let alone an animal). My family gets very close to that based on the bond of unwavering love alone, but I'm not sure if they can ever reach a deep enough state of unattachedness for me to have absolute trust in them. To be as trustworthy as life, the perfect organism itself, requires the ability to fully know yourself, to perceive yourself from outside of you, I think.
Does this mean I have never really trusted anyone? Should I have? How can I have trusted myself two years ago, when only now am I beginning to feel like I know myself? It must have not been trust in the first place. What was it then? Foolishness? A distorted view of myself? Or: seeing the good in me, seeing my potential, and having hope, faith in myself?
"The purity of a faithful heart is chaste as the icicle curded by the frost from driven snow: 'twill bear no blemish."
It will bear no blemish. "Chaste".
If a faithful heart is such that has absolute trust and is full of it, what makes it so pure? What does trust purify and why? Trust may be the purifier of all that is hidden: intentions, emotions, hopes and fears, all underlaying mechanisms. Trust requires openness. That which is open cannot hide what it contains.
I don't mean that, when having trust in the world, the world should open up to you; it's you who should open up to the world. This is me as I am in this moment, bare and shameless, present and absolute. Like attracts like, and the world will open up.
Trust also attracts those who exploit, as light attracts shadow. The only way for light to stay light is to not become the shadow. Is that unstainability as true with pureness of heart? It's either black or white, light or shadow. The pureness either is or it isn't.
How does one keep one's heart pure or purify one that has been blemished? How to protect oneself from exploiters? Does that have something to do with faith? Is trust in everything the greatest protection? Against what, exactly?
My intuition tells me that the human kind ought to have absolute trust in itself, within itself. How to make such a grand vision reality? Up until now I've been trying to get there by building trust in myself and every one I encounter. Is that enough? I want to do more, but is that just impatience in me speaking?
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