I've grown to think that as a waitress
my responsibility is to make sure customers get the best and purest
products possible. This means that my responsibility is to control
quality: to make sure food is as fresh as possible, that cakes are
moist and fluffy, that bread is straight from the oven, that
vegatables are recently cut, that soda is sparkly, that juice is
freshly squeezed, that toilets smell like a flowery meadow; that
everything is tip-top over-the-top perfect. The expectations for
quality vary a little bit among individuals, but only very little:
both rich and poor expect the very best as they're paying extra for
“service”.
What this system of set standards and
justified demands ignores is the amount of food and resources that
goes to waste, literally. I have thus far concluded two major
contributors from the waitress-POV for the tons and tons of edible
food that get thrown away.
1) The portions are huge. I worked for
three years in a big restaurant that was known for its big, so called
“men's portions” of food. The image of the place was based on
everything “big” and masculine, and the food was also junkfood-y,
hamburgers and steaks and all sorts of tex mex stuff. As I worked
there I started to take notice of the amount of food people left on
their plates. It's not just the people - the portions were huge and
not even all the “big masculine men” could finish them - but the
restaurant industry itself that lives by the traditions and standards
of restaurant culture.
It's thought that one should not leave
a restaurant with an empty stomach. It is a sign of a bad restaurant
that cannot feed it's customers well enough – “maybe the portions
are too small because they're greedy!” “Perhaps they're just
cheating us, maybe this amount of meat would have actually cost me
five euros but now I'm paying 20.” Big portions are a sign of a
restaurant that wants to leave all its customers happy, and it's also
seen as a sign of “honesty”, as you get a lot of food with less
money. Now, this attitude leads to portions being halfway finished
almost every time: as I worked the dishes almost every burger came
back as half a burger. I threw out kilos and kilos of bread, meat,
sauce, potato, vegetables and cheese within a few hours. When people
are too stuck with their beliefs to actually know their body and how
much it consumes, to know when to share a big portion with another,
or too afraid of judgement to take the leftovers home; when
restaurant owners are too busy pleasing everyone and not taking a
stand, we are left with our share of the food crisis.
2) Hygienic hysteria. If, as a
waitress, I drop a sugar cube onto the table I work upon, I'm
expected to throw it away even though I keep the working surface
clean and the sugar is just as it was before I dropped it. The
product has been soiled; it's not as clean as it was within the
package. If I transfer a cupcake from the freezer to the display
fridge using only pincers, it's a no-no. The air it travels through
might contaminate it, and I'm supposed to put the cupcake into a
clean unused box for the 5 metres it travels. If a day is quiet and
we're left with extra salad, I'm not allowed to use the salad
tomorrow even though it's still good, fresh and healthy – because
it's not as fresh as possible. Common sense flies out of the window
with these standards, even though people rarely complain unless
they've got something to compare to. “Why's her piece of cake
better than mine?” “Is there something wrong with yours, ma'am?”
“No, but hers is better!” Where I work now people are pretty
satisfied with what they get, even though the quality is nothing
fancy, but in a finer restaurant people find all sorts of little
things to complain about even though the quality really is top-notch.
If I followed that logic of offering
the very best possible, the amount of food I ought to throw away
every day would be insane: about 16 pieces of cake (90 euros loss,
more than my one-day pay), a few kilos of vegetable and fish, many
many kilos of pasta, 5 litres of soup, a few breads and pastries, a
bunch of cupcakes. Every day of every week. I did not count the stuff
I have found important to throw away daily anyway, such as
sandwiches, used milk, opened juice cartons, leftover food,
vegetables gone bad, baked goods gone dry. I throw bad stuff away
constantly, and throwing away stuff that is still fine really stands
out and bothers me.
Today I faced a situation where I had
to choose between two conflicting views: that of the set standards of
quality, and that of the entire worldful of famine where resources
are waisted again and again. I cannot tell publicly exactly what
happened as it might bring trouble to me and my employer, but I can
tell you that I had to think fast and I chose not to throw away an
item that by the standards should have been. It would have been a
major loss both financially and considering the resources.
I have been balancing between the two
views, making compromises and choosing sometimes one, sometimes the
other. For me it is very important to not get anyone sick – it is
my responsibility as the one who serves the food to make sure what
people put inside their bodies is not poisonous or infected or
possibly allergetic. That I take care of by for example keeping
utensils and dishes always as clean as possible. But I also realize
that the standards are an overreaction: the human body can fight off
a whole lot of bacteria, but the word “bacteria” itself is too
much for some to handle. Everything and aything that has “bacteria”
is bad, which shows just how little people know about food and their
bodies, as every single thing is actually swarming with different
kinds of bacteria, and food itself is basically bacteria. The
standards are also an image of luxury people like to live in: I can
afford the best = I'm ok, I'm enough, I'm good.
I will no longer compromise. I know
cakes won't save the world from famine, but this is where I am now
and this is the place for me to take action at this moment, no matter
the scale. Actions will accumulate; attitudes will be affected. I
will take care nothing goes to waste in vain, wherever I happen to
work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear living according to my principles as I
have been afraid of being judged by an authority (boss, co-workers,
customers, officials).
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear being judged according to actions I know
to be right, as I have been afraid I will then be defined as a “bad
employee” and a “bad person” and might even lose my job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear the negative reactions an authority might
bring forth according to my actions because I would have then taken
their judgement personally, as a true commentary of myself and
defined myself accordingly, instead of seeing the reactions as what
they really are. I now see and realize the reason I have been so
afraid is the fact that I have not been able to stand within myself
and my actions as a stable being right now and here, as I have
projected myself into possible future events and worst case
scenarios.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to take the reactions of an authority personally
and fall back into my mind structures even though my actions have
come from a stable point.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to act according to the phrase “customer is
always right”, even though I never believed it, as I faced pressure
from an authority and gave in, not being able to stand my ground and
to stand up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not stand within myself and thus live
dishonesty when and as I have given into pressure and worn characters
instead of being myself within and as breath, and thus accepted and
allowed the conseqences of such self-compromising to accumulate and
add to the mess I was and am now sorting out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not realize that if I never bring my ideals
into action, those ideals will never come about in the physical
reality; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that good thoughts and intentions are enough and that someone
else can act for me as I am too afraid to / I cannot take the risk,
not realizing that I am the one to act, the only one I can move as
actions within this reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to blame others for the problems caused by the
restaurant industry – be it customers, co-workers, employers,
restaurant managers – not realizing the ways I have been
contributing to the problem supporting its existence, and the fact
that we are all responsible for what the world has become as the
descendants of those that built this world since we are just like
them in not having stopped the cycle humanity has lived according to
throughout its existence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear others will perceive my actions a
sloppiness, laziness, greediness and “not caring”, when in fact,
as considering the big picture, to act any differently would be the
real act of ignorance.
I commit myself to investigate the ways
waste is created within the place I work at and reduce it through my
own choices as well as discussion and negotiation with my co-workers
and employers.
I commit myself to support and assist
myself to face people as equals, as people instead of authorities, to
be able to make the issue known and understood, and to no longer
compromise myself.
I commit myself, when and as I am faced
with a choice of throwing away or preserving, to stop and slow
myself down through breathing to examine all possible choices as to
what can be done with the food/product to not let it go to waste
(selling, eating it myself, offering it to a co-worker, selling for a
customer with half-price, giving it to a friend, giving it to someone
hungry, giving it as a gift, bringing it to a party, etc).
I commit myself to not stand by and
watch others create waste in vain. When and as I notice another being
throwing away something that still has value, I will support and
assist myself to stop, breathe and speak up, not through blame but as
facts and not accepting any bullshit, because even if whatever they
threw away that time is already damaged, me speaking up might bring
forth change within the person and change their actions in the
future.
I commit myself to carry my
responsibility of what we have accepted and allowed the world to
become by taking the action that is required right here and now, at
the place and situation I'm living in at the moment, realizing that
change is not required only in the worst of war zones but everywhere,
no matter the scale.